“It’s Not About You” by Bob Burg and David Mann

I just finished a great book and wanted to share my favorite quotes. I was so touched that I cried all the way through. That’s a first for me for a business bookHappy

‘Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.’ p.49

‘Tact is the language of strength.’ p.48

‘Tact is the opposite of thoughtlessness.’ p.48

‘What you have to give you offer least of all through what you say; in greater part through what you do; but in greatest part through who you are.’ p.83

‘Life leaves a mark. None of us passes through the experience of our days unblemished or pristine. We all suffer tragedies and disappointments, struggles and failures. Losses great and small, and every one of them hurts. We can try to cover it up, although if we do, we just tend to grow bitter on the inside. Or, we can embrace who we are-that is, who we are in the process of becoming. Embrace the hurt and it deepens you, makes you a richer person. Deny, reject, hold it at bay, fight it off, and it simply hardens you. Either way, it engraves itself onto your soul.’ p.84

‘Character is what happens when life scratches itself onto your soul.’ p. 86

Pete Egoscue: Pain Free

“From the instant the human fetus first kicks or shifts its position in the womb, it is moving in reaction to its environment, and it will continue to do so for the rest of its life as long as the environment provides one key ingredient - stimulus. The brain must be externally stimulated if it is to move skeletal muscle. But today the fetus eventually emerges into a modern environment that demands of it less and less motion. This lack of stimulus is affecting all of us, young and old. Today, unlike our ancestors, we may choose not to move. In modern life, moving appears to be optional. Thus, what we do to work and play no longer fully engages our major musculoskeletal functions. The biomechanical paradigm is reversed: The less we move, the less we are capable of moving.” Pete Egoscue, Pain Free

QBQ Quote

I have recently read a good book by John Miller called QBQ! The Question Behind the Question. It is about personal accountability and taking responsibility for the direction of our lives. The following quote struck a chord with me:
“We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We play too many audios in our cars. It’s all wasted if we’re unclear on what learning really is: Learning is not attending, listening, or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge.
Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It’s about changing.” (p. 110)

Body Awareness and Anxiety

I recently read a brilliant book called The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge. It has useful information about how we process information and it is written in lay person’s language. Neuroscience can be pretty heavy otherwise icon_smile .
The book links thoughts, anxiety and body tension and explains the chain of response. Many of us grew up in dysfunctional environments to which we adapted. We learned to predict and avoid certain consequences by adapting our behavior. We looked for patterns to make sense out of the unpredictable world. These thoughts and adaptations became ingrained and habitual.
The Brain That Changes Itself describes the default pathways that form in the synapses of the brain. It is the repetitiveness that makes these pathways stronger than others. When I am told I am bad, eventually I’ll think I am bad. I internalized it at that point and each time I think it, the connection between the neurons becomes stronger. It becomes my automatic thinking and response to the world that manifests in the body as well. I become tight and anxious and the stress hormones flow without me having any awareness of how I got to this stage. All this time, I might be sitting comfortably in my living room!
The authors of the book say that the key is to become more in tune with our body and the reactions some thoughts cause. Once we become aware of the body response, we can choose to have a different thought that is more pleasant. This active choosing disrupts the default pathway and a new neural connection is created. (This is what affirmations try to do – to steer thinking into more positive and peaceful direction.)
I am a big fan of this approach to anxiety because I, too, have suffered from it. Over about two years, while learning to be more aware of my body, I could catch the default thoughts earlier and earlier. Through Rolfing and other awareness modalities, I learned to feel my body and notice any unsettled sensations. Then, I would interrupt whatever thoughts I was having and actively chose a different thought.
Now, several years later, I do this automatically. I have refined my ability to notice a thought that doesn’t serve me. It is a skill I developed and it changed what I do and who I interact with. I don’t watch TV anymore because it makes me think thoughts that produce an unpleasant reaction in my body. And I try not to be around people who invalidate me and who are abusive.
The brain is the most amazing organ. It is like a play-dough; it changes when we pay attention. The mind that has expanded can never shrink back.
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. ~Mark Twain